I stopped publicizing damage stuff and quirks a while back. I also stopped going on the Steam Forums, for the most part.

Why? Because people are fucking irritating, and I have better things to do than argue with illiterates or close-minded fools. Why do I give two shits about what they believe? I really shouldn’t, and I suspect Valve doesn’t either.

Hopefully, Valve still understands that Heavies and some of the unlocks in general have serious balance issues. But I don’t have the time to argue and I’m really out of fucks to give.

I should probably get back into blogging, though. NaNo has been a disaster so far, but we’ll see if I can recover. Anyway, hope you’re trying to enjoy life if you read this. It’s really the main goal that most people should have scheduled sometime in their futures / present.

“… to make the E-I distinction useful at all, we must define the two concepts, not in terms of mental focus or interest, but in terms of social address or social attitude. Thus when someone is observed to be talkative and sociable (the so-called “extravert”) he or she can be described as “expressive.” In contrast, people who are more quiet and private (the so-called “introverts”) can be described as “reserved.” Interestingly, because Reserved persons tend to hold their fire verbally, they tend to listen carefully to what others say, while Expressive persons tend not to listen very well, so eager are they to tell others of what they have on their minds. So in general, the Expressive are quick to speak and slow to listen, while the Reserved are quick to listen and slow to speak.

Of course, everyone is expressive in some degree, but not in the same degree. Those who are more expressive appear more comfortable around groups of people than they are when alone. Thus they can also be thought of as socially gregarious or outgoing. On the other hand, those who are more reserved seem to be more comfortable when alone than when in a crowd. And thus they can be thought of as socially seclusive or retiring. Remember, however, that these distinctions are not clear cut: each individual surely varies from time to time in his or her desire to be expressive and in company or reserved and in seclusion.

A metaphor might shed light on this difference. Imagine that a person’s energy is powered by batteries. Given this, then Expressive persons (ESTPs, ENFJs, etc.) appear to be energized, charged up, by contact with other people. Owing to the surge they get when in company, they are quick to approach others, even strangers, and talk to them, finding this an easy and pleasant thing to do, and something they don’ t want to do without. Such interaction apparently charges their batteries and makes them feel alive. Thus, when they leave a lively party at two o’clock in the morning, they might well be ready to go on to another one. Their batteries are almost overcharged, having received so much stimulation from the social interaction. In fact, quiet and seclusion actually exhaust Expressive persons, and they report feelings of loneliness (or power drain) when not in contactwith others. For example, if an Expressive person goes to a library to do research in the stacks, he or she may, after fifteen minutes or so, feel bored and tired, and have to exercise strong will-power to keep from taking a short brain break and striking up a conversation with the librarian.

On the other hand, Reserved persons (ISFJs, INTJs, etc.) can be said to draw energy from a different source. They prefer to pursue solitary activities, working quietly alone with their favored project or hobby, however simple or complicated it may be, and such isolated activities are what seem to charge their batteries. Indeed, Reserved persons can remain only so long in contact with others before their energies are depleted. If required by their job, family, or social responsibilities to be expressive or outgoing- to make a great interpersonal effort – they are soon exhausted and need alone time in quiet places to rest and to restore their depleted energy. Thus, if Reserved persons go to a noisy cocktail party, after a short period of time-say, half an hour – they are ready to go home. For them, the party is over, their batteries are drained. This is not to say that Reserved persons do not like to be around people. They enjoy socializing with others, but at large social gatherings or professional meetings they tend to seek out a quiet corner where they can chat with one or two other persons.

There is some social bias toward expressiveness in American social life, but Reserved persons have no reason to feel that there is anything wrong with them, and should be sure to provide adequately for their legitimate desire for quiet time to themselves.”

– Please Understand Me II p.331 – 332, David Keirsey

tremors out the ass means that this post takes 14 minutes to complete

knee surgery at the end of this week

there goes my fucking summer

the only good thing so far was how i delved into d&d. maybe i’ll run a campaign for thinkers?

Look for glossaries and note down which pages they’re on. Some books have chapter-to-chapter glossaries. These are a godsend.

Note down important pages, such as formulas and the like before you attempt to solve a problem. Reference the formulas as necessary. Repetition will eventually push short term to long term memory. Crude, but effective.

Always allot 1.5x the time that you “estimate” for a project. Finishing early means that you can goof off with yo’ bitches and hoes. Finishing late means you have to kick it into a higher gear.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Two bags of tortilla chips next to me. One bag is “restaurant style”, the other, scoops. The scoop ones are not quite as good, somehow. I am disappoint.

Out of salsa. Sort of sitting here pondering whether to go to the kitchen and grab more. Think that I shouldn’t, in fear of being harassed on the way.

This is a blog entry done in boredom. Mayhaps something more interesting later tonight.

Drawing has not really taken off so far, though I am feeling more comfortable overall with the idea that I’m just untrained, not a failure. Before I started researching, I felt like there was absolutely no way that I could learn how to draw, but that’s not entirely true, I suppose.

I’m a “left brain” sort of person. Ignore the lateralization errors in that- it’s just an expression to me. This means while analytical things are my strong suit, creative ones are not really up there. Maybe it’s the fact that I didn’t learn how to properly write until I was 17. I have poor motor function and occasionally I’ll shake too much to keep my hands steady.

It’s sort of depressing if all you want to do is show what’s in your head.

So back to drawing- it looks like I can take steps towards learning how to draw. The exercises I was supposed to be doing have sort of fell through. I also got into physical therapy again because I’m not feeling well. Need to keep active and stop spending so much time sitting down.

On that note, I’m probably going to build myself a standing desk. Buying one would be a waste of money when I have a perfectly good desk right here in front of me. However, I really do prefer to stand, and my doctors say it’ll probably help strengthen my legs.

So why not?

Yeah, really rambling off at this point. But this feels a lot more natural to do. Writing without serious editing or clarification, I mean. I don’t even know how many people out there read what I write, so who cares?

Oh, but yes, drawing. This might seem strange to anyone who ever stumbles upon this blog, but frankly, I don’t give a fuck. Wanting to draw has been a consistent thing in my life, but I’ve never thought as myself as precise enough, or that my hands would stop shaking long enough for me to draw something properly. I have a hell of a lot of ideas of what I’d like to draw, however, but any time I tried to pick it up, I gave up before I began.

I read a lot of webcomics. I really do. I read somewhere around 50 different webcomics (probably closer to 70 now), forget half of them, and visit the other half somewhat regularly. Then I stumble back to the other half anytime I remember them.

I’ve noticed that most people who start webcomics don’t always start with the most impressive art. It’s an almost consistent thing, and it gives me hope. I don’t mean to sound insulting- rather, it means that I have room to improve if I practice daily. Here’s where my roadblock is.

I don’t really think I know where to start. I’ve always looked for some affirmation of “Yes, that is a good way to start doing ________”. Friends of mine on the interwabs and friends in real life will agree that I’m sort of dependent on affirmations and afraid of doing things wrong, even before I take the first step. I become afraid of starting with the wrong thing and gaining some terrible habits that I won’t easily be able to break.

This has been the killer for me, in the case of drawing. No offense to anyone I’ve spoken to, but it tends to be that I have no idea where to start and most people simply don’t understand what I’m looking for. They’ll give me basic steps to get me interested or encourage my interest, but when it comes to the actual skills of learning, the steps are unclear.

There’s one person who I know who is good at teaching drawing / art. She’s just simply quite busy with her own life and such. Though she is the best artist I know, for sure.

I’m an ex-MMORPG player. I think grinding is enjoyable as long as you see the rewards. I still grind out nade aim on tr_rocket_shooting2 and tr_walkway. Is it as good as playing a normal game? No, no way in hell that it’s as good. There’s a lot you’re still missing, and you’re not looking at the big picture. You just end up with drills.

Now, while I do understand that simply practicing nade aim on a bot map won’t do shit for me, I also know that if I can’t start with something small, I’m going to get super frustrated. I need drills, practices, exercises I can do to learn the craft. I need to grind out those levels in proficiency.

So this is where I’m going to start- I have to plan how I’m going to do this, but in a reasonable fashion. From there, I’ll expand my plan to something unreasonable yet challenging. I also should mirror how I did my nade practice in TF2 (which I should probably get back to more often).

Step 1 – Precision + Repetition
When I started practicing, well, anything, I had to start with basics. Strike the first note properly, and understand what it was. It’s the base of the structure. Don’t get frustrated when shit doesn’t go as you think it should go. Look at the larger results of how things are improving. Form over anything, don’t expect great results. Movements should be fast to get into the range of acceptable, then fine tune as time goes on.

After practicing, end on a good note so that your body remembers the feeling. Do not end on a bad note if you can help it. Do it right before you sleep, and even listen to music you enjoy to associate it.

Nade practice: Hit the feet at the bottom of the jump, launching the bot into the air. Attempt an airshot, but don’t chase. Move onto the next one and try again.

Step 2 – Variation
After step one, you have to move on. If I’m consistently landing what I think I want to land, then I have to make it more difficult for myself before I plateau. Shrink size, add difficulty. Shit like that. Do it with more precision or even faster. Pushing yourself into a state where you might not be comfortable is okay. Understand that it’s another step towards success.

Does this still count as talking to myself?

Nade practice: Add strafing to shots. Flick shots at times. Still don’t chase.

Step 3 – Application
Time to put what I know to work with things that I sort of understand. With nade practice, it was a matter of combining sticky spam with proper nade usage. I still haven’t gotten it right, but it’s getting better over time. Drawing will most likely be easier because I don’t have to gauge / rely on the skill of opponents and teammates.

Nade practice: Real games. Nade moar.

I guess where I should start is actually with the basic shapes and lines. Maybe I should go out and buy a notebook to make myself draw shapes every day. Even like, 10 to 20 sets of the basic shapes every day. Sometimes I’ll want to practice even more than normal, but I shouldn’t see it as “making up” for other days. A little every day at the least, but a lot every day is perfectly acceptable as well.

It’s 4:30 AM, I think I’ll draw shapes a bit, then pop to bed.

This is going to be updated every day. Not everything will be interesting, but my therapists say I should stop talking to myself so much. Thus, the blog is going to be reworked to be more flexible. I guess I’ll leave all the original posts this time, but not all of this is going to be game analysis anymore.

Actually, I doubt very much of it is going to be data and game analysis. Recent health issues have prevented me from doing too much with games. Doctors have suggested I go back to what I really love doing- that is, learning new things.

Lawl, I said anal.

So I calculated the amount of rockets needed to kill a Targe Demo when he was holding the Eyelander. I figured that, since the whole idea was about seeing how big the difference was, I wouldn’t bother with a bottle Targe Demo in my charts. It wasn’t important at the time, so deal with it. I also posted about it somewhere on the forums, anyway.

So, finally finished my charts and made them all pretty-like. I like simple, clean tables. I don’t like line graphs and bar graphs because the difference is only as big as you scale the graph. If you’re working with numbers, that’s an amount of time, something you should be familiar with, rather than these two blocks of stupid data.

For each little table, I divided the amount of damage a Targe Demo would take from a rocket doing x damage. I only did cases where x = 100, 90, and 80, simply because it was just a demonstration, not a goddamn reference chart.

For example, a 100 damage rocket against an Old Targe would do 100 – (100 * .65), or 35 damage. New Targe is easier: 100 – (100 * .50), or 50 damage. You’ll see them at the top of every mini table when we get there.

After determining that, I just divided the health in question by that number. My health values were 150, 165, 180, 195, and 210, as a normal Eyelander Demo might have, in conjunction with the Targe. With that basic formula, I bumbled out this chart – Rockets Needed.

But since you can’t actually shoot 4.29 rockets at someone, I had to round up that last part of the rocket. I made a silly 2 second table with that, just to figure out how many rockets were really needed, if we still assumed that these rockets were some sort of freakish homing rockets that did constant damage. Anyway, this table was born – Actual Rockets Needed. Simple, but very important in a moment.

Then I had to figure out how much time exactly it would take to fire a certain amount of rockets. Took me a moment, but I realized that there’s a max and min, even with continuous fire because of reload times. I went up to 8 rockets, since that’s where my data ended – Time to Fire. It’s almost depressing that holding down fire grows faster over time, since that feels like a noob thing to do. I guess it’s all about cutting the corners of mechanics, and reloading fully when you can. If you can take cover, of course you’re going to want to reload more than just one at a time. But assuming you need that Demo dead as soon as possible, you may need to just reload one, then immediately fire it.

Anyway, from there, it was simple. Just throw in the corresponding times for the rockets needed, and this shitty thing was done – Minimum Time to Kill.

I see some very significant differences.

Again, to make it clear- these numbers will be nothing like your actual combat situations with Targe Demos. Not all rockets will hit and not all rockets will do even 80 damage. Doing 80 damage consistently requires a good amount of aim and proximity, and that’s not really easy at times. Additionally, it’s a hell of a lot easier to just whip out the Shotgun and peck a few holes into the Demo, even at a distance.

Basically, as a Soldier, there’s only one legitimate reason not to Shotgun a Demo in the face, aside from ammo issues: you traded it in for an unlock. I can get that, really. But you shouldn’t whine for being at a disadvantage because you don’t have a Shotgun. It’s a tradeoff you should accept overall in exchange for the Gunboats or Buff Banner.

So what other reasons have I heard on the forums?

“I shouldn’t have to switch weapons”
“Shotguns are weak”

Sorry guys, these basically translate to:

“I’m bad”

By ignoring one of your weapons, you’re resigning yourself to not using your full potential. Why do you think so many Demos are terrible? Oh, and speaking of Demos- they were the only other class really affected by the Targe change, and honestly I didn’t mind seeing a class we were ineffective against. It encouraged waiting for backup, which is something all classes should do at one point or another. I don’t see the reasoning behind the recent change, as it only lifted some things that would make it harder for bad players. Basically no effect at all on higher level players, except maybe those Demos who prefer beasting through others with nades.

You might think I’m inherently biased for the Targe, but I don’t really like it as much as I could. The Targe / Eyelander combo is pretty fun to mess around with, but it suffers in higher level play while the Sticky Launcher still does not. Even in lower level play, the tradeoff doesn’t appeal to me. I stay alive if I’m smart, and if I’m going kamikaze, I don’t actually expect to live through it. The OMG INSTANT CRIT / survivability itself doesn’t really make up for the flexibility and fluidity of stickies, as far as I’m concerned.

Gunboots: 7 to 11 damage for jumps. Can deal 21 damage to yourself by crouching and firing at the floor. Haven’t been able to deal more damage than that.

Scottish Resistance: Haven’t tested past the detonation radius. Det radius is 100 Hammer units. Will test lowest jump amount possible with 100 det radius at a later time, but 45 damage jumps are out of the question.

Oh, and “force detonated” SR stickies don’t break enemy stickies. Not manually detonated- the ones that are forced to detonate because the sticky limit has been reached.